Friday, 4 September 2009

Endorphins? Schmorphins...

I had another fill last Wednesday, and now have 9.25ml in my band. I decided that a quarter was sufficient, though I must admit now I'm not so sure. I expected to be 'stopped dead in my tracks' at mealtimes, and I'm not. Yes, I can just about feel I can stop (plus a little bit of willpower), but it's certainly not after a teacup full - more like several... I'm grateful that there isn't a PB in sight however...
This time it hurt. They had to have three goes before they found the port, so I was nervous as well - and I feared they might puncture the band, though I didn't say so. My overall impression is that for only a quarter of a millilitre it wasn't worth that much discomfort, and I might as well have had a half. I now have to wait another four weeks until the next one.
I learned an interesting bit of information which I was very glad to hear: that although the bands are 10ml, much more than that will fit, and I could well go up to 13 or 14 if I wanted. I was very reassured by this, as I was beginning to feel a bit panicky about reaching the top limit.
As we took a friend visiting from Germany to the pub at lunchtime and I (stupidly) had (most of) three courses, this evening I spent 45 minutes at the gym, working myself as hard as I could, then did 20 lengths in the pool. Later at a friend's house I kept falling asleep sitting on the sofa while the others talked, so it must have tired me out more than I realised. However don't run away with the idea that I'm a convert to this ghastly regime, or that those little ol' endorphins are making me feel good, cos they ain't. I don't enjoy it at all, I just keep quoting Dickens in A Tale of Two Cities "T'is a far, far better thing I do now than I have ever done..." muttering it under my breath, like a mantra.
I've now realised that among the numbers lit up on the machines, are the calories you've probably burned, and that demoralised me even further because I added them up as I went along and reckoned I had just about burned off the starter I had at lunchtime, and the other two courses would have to wait till the next session...
Contrary to my own advice, I'm weighing myself every morning at the moment, and this is because a loss, however small, gives me the necessary boost to take me through the day.
This post is boring me even as I type it, so I'll sign off for now. My German friend Gaby was very taken with my two cats, and as it was mutual, it has taught me something new about them - but I'll tell you about it next time, as I'm dead on my feet. I'm off to dream about rowing machines and tread mills... Nighty night.


Nola said...

You make me laugh with how you write things up...I love it!! Yes, I don't like to pay any attention to the "how many calories you have burned" thing. It is sooooooo disheartening!!and I don't particularly enjoy excercise either....except my dog walks on the beach and that isn't really counted because it is more like a stroll.

The Dash! said...

You know, you answered a question I had myself: Where do we go when we reach 10 mls in a 10 ml band.
And I hear you on the exercise front. I have to push to get out that door. That said, once underway I enjoy it a little. Hope that stays with me.

Tina said...

I hate it too! Apparently that little calorie burner thing is not accurate. You burn more if you weigh more than whatever the weight setting is on it and you have residual calorie burn after you get off (i have heard it termed stoking the fire). So maybe..just burned your starter and your dessert?

Lonicera said...

Go Tina!!! I feel better already, even though the poxy scales showed no change this morning.
Thanks to you all - you're right Cara, I have to admit that once I'm working those hideous machines, and afterwards as I stagger out the door with my face as red as a fire engine and perspiration even coming out of my HEAD (for heaven's sake...) I'm always surprised that I'm not actually fighting for breath, the way I used to when I did (wash mouth out with soap) aerobics 20 years ago. General tiredness yes, but not hurting everywhere. Mind you, that's probably still to come...
Thanks again for following my ramblings.

oozyxena said...

I love reading your blogs, I have been off the pc for quite a while now (getting my head together and all that) I have quite a bit of catching up to do, I have been out of the loop for far too long. I find everything you say very interesting and wish I could write and express my feelings and thoughts even an ounce as well as you do.


Simone said...

Oh my goodness....."Jalna"!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I (and my mum) have read ALL of those....several times!!!! How funny!!

I loved those books so much....Renny and Alayne....Uncle Ernest.....I could visualise their home. My mum bought me the whole series (altho clearly it was for her benefit too!) one Christmas and they still sit on her bookshelves, the pinky/orange colour faded slightly and a bit raggedy round the edges!! I must re-read great that you read them too :)

Best wishes,

Lonicera said...

Zena - welcome and double welcome! I'm sooo glad you're back to blogging. Since you've lost so much weight, isn't it time for an updated pic perhaps?
Simone - and how about Juliette Benzoni's Belle Catherine series - did you read all those too? We passed them round at school, and if I was given only a day to return it, it was no problem, who wanted to sleep anyway... I do miss that innocent and eager approach to reading.

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