The nurse at the local surgery looked at my 6-day old wounds yesterday and pronounced that they're healing very well - two of them no longer requiring dressings. She asked if the adjustments in insulin control were proceeding OK & I said yes, but forgot to mention that in fact I've had two hypos in the night - the result of too much insulin. It's unpleasant to feel so weak and have to get out of bed to do anything about it, but also it's infuriating to have to consume unnecessary sweet calories to bring the glucose levels up again at the one time of day when I don't want anything. I'll get it right eventually.
It's only been a week, but I'm so fed up with soup, yoghurt and sloppy mashed vegetables that today Christmas Day I took a chance. John cooked the whole turkey meal for the first time, and lovely it was too. I had intended (honest!) to liquidise it all, but the very idea gave me nausea, and I was dying to have a meal of meat and two veg, however modest, for the first time since before the crash diet (i.e. mid November), so I had a tiny bit of nearly everything, well chewed, and all swimming in gravy as a precaution, plus a small glass of red wine, and I had no problem at all. I realise this is because there is no restriction, and I won't get away with this after the first fill, but I'm banking on the fact that when that day comes the restriction will help me feel full a lot sooner. At the moment the feeling is more a case of eating till I start to get that chest pain - i.e. there's no forewarning. I think the fact that I was able to have solids is because the swelling in my stomach has subsided a lot. Psychologically it did me good because it was a normal meal, even if I shouldn't be on solids yet. I hate living on snacks.
I've much enjoyed reading Leeanne's blog
(cuddles-thelongandwindingroad.blogspot.com) on her journey to slimness and identify with a lot of what she says, though it's early days for me and I've yet to apply it. She remarks for example that food addictions and comfort eating don't vanish because of the band & we have to find ways to control them, and that it's OK to give into them occasionally as long as it's only for a strictly pre-determined time, after which the temptations are put out of reach. (However I work in a hospital environment where chocolates are constantly available - and they're bad for me on two counts, not one. It remains to be seen how I cope with them never being out of reach...)
Merry Christmas and Happy New Year full of dreams coming true for everyone.