Some thoughts that are helping me to cope with the long road to what I perceive to be normality – in no particular order (and not including the E word, as I should, but that’s just my own foible. Go to the gym if you must…)
1. Patience – it won’t happen overnight. It took a long time to get myself into this mess. In any case it’s best that it’s slow, as it means less saggy skin, and gives my brain and body more time to get accustomed to the new regime, which will probably last the rest of my life. Better to have pitfalls along the way, and forgive myself for them – I can allow myself this luxury now without getting blue about it because the band will still be there the day after the pitfall. No morning-after pill necessary…
2. Calm down, slow down – no point getting in a state about body image, failure to eat the right things, indignation that the band isn’t actually padlocking my jaws together for me. Forget willpower, if I just slow down and think for a cotton-picking second, it will work. Maybe I haven’t reached the right fill, maybe I’m still stubbornly going to the supermarket and throwing certain things into the trolley which I know are anti-band, such as confectionery, snacks and crisps. Just think: if I cut those off my impulse shopping list, I could safely leave in my favourite main meal foods, in the knowledge that the band will take care of my not having too much of them. I can no longer gorge, gobble, bolt my food – the degree of physical pleasure has changed. I must slow down my eating process, and see how it starts to work. OK, so I may still PB, but nobody said this was going to be pain-free…
3. Promise myself I won’t go hungry – not get anxious about food. Think about ‘head hunger’ – why I feel it, what triggers it. Talk about it to John to bring it out into the open. If I’m still hungry promise myself a bit more after 15 minutes if I still want it.
4. Don’t weigh myself too often – I don’t need to. In the bad old days I would have liked to weigh myself three times a day if I could get away with it, and I’d punch the air in triumph – yessssss! – and that would encourage me to keep at it. Well now I know that with a few simple rules it’ll happen anyway, and if I tip-toe onto the scales too often (holding on to something, then slooooowly letting go…) and there’s no change, I'll get all despondent and whine at the first person I see afterwards.
5. Comfort eating: meet it head on – I’m unhappy, fed up, whatever, and in the past I’d immediately reach for a treat (deadly word) or a food that took me back to safe childhood, when adults told me it was OK to have it. Think this one through; ask myself if there are any other activities which could be used as substitutes. For me, eating is primarily a physical pleasure, and it’s possible that there aren’t that many available to each of us – our lives are all different. So try this for size: what works for me sometimes (Little Miss Perfect I ain’t) is to sit somewhere comfortably, preferably with very little light, totally alone, and daydream about the time ahead – which will come – when I’m at the weight I want to be. What will my party dress be like, how will I feel when I walk into a room, how will it change my approach to people I find difficult, how would it feel to find myself on a stage, what clothes would I now wear to feel and look sexy? Will I have a tummy tuck? Laser eye surgery to chuck out those spectacles? Teeth whitening? A skin peel to improve my complexion? A radical haircut or tint? Or the best fantasy – how will I now flirt with someone I fancy? The list is endless.
6. Distraction – there are days at work when there’s so much on that I’m surprised to find I haven’t thought much about food, and as a result have begun to appreciate the value of finding a project that will (a) keep me far from the kitchen and (b) thinking of other things. In the old days the tyranny of diets meant that I was obsessed with food all day long, when I was next going to eat, how many calories could I allow myself, etc. Then one day about 15 years ago I thought ‘enough’, I was sick to death of thinking of food. I stopped dieting, and almost immediately discovered a passion for photography which absorbed me completely. For a long time I didn’t gain weight at all – I was always out and about, trying out new techniques, joining a camera club, talking about F stops… but gradually I must have started to eat more, because slowly the weight started to creep up again. I should at this point have found something else to keep me busy, and I didn’t. Blogging is brilliant for this, by the way.
7. Know that the band is working without my having to remind it to do so, and I am comforted and cheered by the thought. So now all I need is patience, which is where we came in…
1. Patience – it won’t happen overnight. It took a long time to get myself into this mess. In any case it’s best that it’s slow, as it means less saggy skin, and gives my brain and body more time to get accustomed to the new regime, which will probably last the rest of my life. Better to have pitfalls along the way, and forgive myself for them – I can allow myself this luxury now without getting blue about it because the band will still be there the day after the pitfall. No morning-after pill necessary…
2. Calm down, slow down – no point getting in a state about body image, failure to eat the right things, indignation that the band isn’t actually padlocking my jaws together for me. Forget willpower, if I just slow down and think for a cotton-picking second, it will work. Maybe I haven’t reached the right fill, maybe I’m still stubbornly going to the supermarket and throwing certain things into the trolley which I know are anti-band, such as confectionery, snacks and crisps. Just think: if I cut those off my impulse shopping list, I could safely leave in my favourite main meal foods, in the knowledge that the band will take care of my not having too much of them. I can no longer gorge, gobble, bolt my food – the degree of physical pleasure has changed. I must slow down my eating process, and see how it starts to work. OK, so I may still PB, but nobody said this was going to be pain-free…
3. Promise myself I won’t go hungry – not get anxious about food. Think about ‘head hunger’ – why I feel it, what triggers it. Talk about it to John to bring it out into the open. If I’m still hungry promise myself a bit more after 15 minutes if I still want it.
4. Don’t weigh myself too often – I don’t need to. In the bad old days I would have liked to weigh myself three times a day if I could get away with it, and I’d punch the air in triumph – yessssss! – and that would encourage me to keep at it. Well now I know that with a few simple rules it’ll happen anyway, and if I tip-toe onto the scales too often (holding on to something, then slooooowly letting go…) and there’s no change, I'll get all despondent and whine at the first person I see afterwards.
5. Comfort eating: meet it head on – I’m unhappy, fed up, whatever, and in the past I’d immediately reach for a treat (deadly word) or a food that took me back to safe childhood, when adults told me it was OK to have it. Think this one through; ask myself if there are any other activities which could be used as substitutes. For me, eating is primarily a physical pleasure, and it’s possible that there aren’t that many available to each of us – our lives are all different. So try this for size: what works for me sometimes (Little Miss Perfect I ain’t) is to sit somewhere comfortably, preferably with very little light, totally alone, and daydream about the time ahead – which will come – when I’m at the weight I want to be. What will my party dress be like, how will I feel when I walk into a room, how will it change my approach to people I find difficult, how would it feel to find myself on a stage, what clothes would I now wear to feel and look sexy? Will I have a tummy tuck? Laser eye surgery to chuck out those spectacles? Teeth whitening? A skin peel to improve my complexion? A radical haircut or tint? Or the best fantasy – how will I now flirt with someone I fancy? The list is endless.
6. Distraction – there are days at work when there’s so much on that I’m surprised to find I haven’t thought much about food, and as a result have begun to appreciate the value of finding a project that will (a) keep me far from the kitchen and (b) thinking of other things. In the old days the tyranny of diets meant that I was obsessed with food all day long, when I was next going to eat, how many calories could I allow myself, etc. Then one day about 15 years ago I thought ‘enough’, I was sick to death of thinking of food. I stopped dieting, and almost immediately discovered a passion for photography which absorbed me completely. For a long time I didn’t gain weight at all – I was always out and about, trying out new techniques, joining a camera club, talking about F stops… but gradually I must have started to eat more, because slowly the weight started to creep up again. I should at this point have found something else to keep me busy, and I didn’t. Blogging is brilliant for this, by the way.
7. Know that the band is working without my having to remind it to do so, and I am comforted and cheered by the thought. So now all I need is patience, which is where we came in…
.
-oOo-
5 comments:
woohoo Brilliant thinking!
Tina
Oh Caroline, you nailed it for me with number 5. So well said. I really need to think about that one again and again.
distraction is what I need to keep me off hunting for food. When I am bored I get really bad at staying focused.
good post
:o)
xx
Caroline - you write just so brilliantly - will reply properly in an Email to you -Cherith x
Nice comments - thanks so much. About comfort food, I forgot to mention one thought which has occasionally worked: that those favourite foods won't go away, they'll always be there ready and waiting for me as a slimmer person to enjoy them in a more controlled way...
Caroline
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