Friday, 5 November 2010

Pool Rage, a hypo and an unfill

As a bandit I haven’t had a very good week – I’ve lost a few pounds but for all the wrong reasons (no I don’t want them back, it’s not that bad).

On Sunday morning I had my usual weekly treat of 3 rashers of smoked streaky bacon (grilled till crisp) and fried egg plus one small buttered toasted pancake/drop scone (no toast permitted by the band) and coffee, and in the afternoon we went swimming.  The pool was busy, with one lane cordoned off and various people steaming up and down as though their lives depended on it.

I did my 20 lengths swimming sedately (read ‘with the least effort’) in the lane next to it, but finding it difficult to enjoy because all the activity going on in the pool made it feel like a Channel crossing.  At one point I got kicked by mistake by one of the serious crawl swimmers from the fast lane, who apologised in a gasp as he lunged past.  It didn’t hurt, it was just one more annoying invasion of space, and – as frequently happens when I go to a public swimming bath – I finished the swim feeling cross and out of sorts.  However, I did, as they say “get over it”.

I noticed that evening as I had a small bowl of polenta, comfort food that normally sails past the band without difficulties, that the restriction was too great and I could barely eat it a small spoonful at a time.  I was hungry, so persevered and finished it after about an hour, but I wasn’t very comfortable – and in fact I wasn’t to eat again till three days later.  It was only after a couple of hours that I was able to drink – and I knew that something had changed pretty dramatically in the past few hours. 

Goodness knows where my brain was, but before I went to bed I gave myself an overdose of insulin because I had switched the colour coded caps on my insulin pens by mistake.  I realised immediately after giving myself a hefty dose of the strong instant-acting insulin, and to compensate I therefore didn’t inject with the slow acting one at all.  My body knew the difference though.

I had a terrible night because I woke up four times drowning, and a fifth time at 4:30 a.m. feeling like a newborn kitten, which meant I was having a hypo (low glucose levels in the blood).  On these occasions getting myself out of bed and walking to the loo is a tremendous effort of will – difficult to explain to non-diabetics, and it scares the hell out of me.  I chewed a couple of sugar pills and prepared to wait ten minutes for my glucose levels to rise and therefore to regain my strength, but alas my restriction had well and truly kicked in and there was no way I was going to get those lozenges down, however well chewed.  I started to panic as I felt a stalemate situation coming on. 

After a few minutes of scrambled thoughts I remembered that I had runny honey in a squeezy bottle on the windowsill put by for when I occasionally need to crush large bitter tasting pills that won’t get past the band, and thank goodness enough glucose got through to bring my levels up a bit.

I stayed home the following day, Monday, too exhausted to do much except sleep in a semi-reclined position and worry about the fact that it was getting harder and harder to keep water down except in tiny sips.  On the Tuesday I went in to work and only managed a coffee in the morning and a hot chocolate in the afternoon.  The evening’s cold milky coffee got undrunk.  On Wednesday John drove me to work – the lack of food had really weakened me, but we were due in Taunton that evening so I reckoned as long as I could drink a bit I’d be OK.  He collected me at the end of the day and drove me to Taunton, and I had lost 1.2kg – actually it was a great deal more than that, but I’m afraid I’d gained a bit since the last visit 3 weeks before and the 1.2 was a net loss...I know the true loss must have been nearer to 4kg. 

I was lucky that my surgeon was doing the clinic that evening, a rare treat, so he did my unfill of a quarter of a cc.  I took advantage of the opportunity to ask him about the strange development, and also the one I described some months ago when I coughed up a bean I had eaten 8 days previously, but – you know what? He just said “this is an art, not a science”.  He had nothing to contribute as to these two events, other than to reassure me that my port and band were all in place as they should be. 

Tina’s post today is bang on, this is what she writes, referring to the bariatric nurse she consulted –
I really don't think she (or any of the surgeons for that matter) are doing studies about living with a band. They just do their quantitative blinded crap and are muddling around in the dark as far as the actual details of the experience.

I couldn’t agree more.  Sandy has debated on her blog as to the reasons for sudden increases and decreases of restriction, and more study is evidently needed to understand how certain everyday activities – exercise, bowel movements, kicks in the ribs... – can rearrange our internal organs in such a way as to have an effect on the position and pressure of the gastric band.

The quarter cc adjustment has made a slight difference, but I can’t eat much.  I know it’s unwise to lose weight this way, as it encourages one to go for high calorie sliders, but I’ll give it a go till my next appointment in two weeks time.  At the very least I’ll have better figures to note on the weight loss chart on the right side of the blog come November 17th.

A rather obvious conclusion I had never really thought about before:  simultaneous over-restriction and hypos should be avoided at all costs.  It would be good if there were any other diabetic bandits out there who could comment on their own experiences – anyone?

-oOo-

Photo Finish:
from Lonicera's non-digital archive

Bonfire Night












-oOo-

Thursday, 28 October 2010

Bucket List - reversed (5) (final part)


21.  I subjected myself willingly to surgical intervention to have a gastric band laparoscopically fitted, to enable me to lose weight after 35 years of being unable to do it for myself – and at great personal expense.  I knew there were risks, in fact it was explained to me in pretty lurid detail - but I had got to a stage where I felt I had nothing more to lose, and quite frankly, I didn’t care.  I didn’t want to carry on the way I was, so a fear of death was meaningless.  I think this fatalism, this willingness to gamble my life away because there was nothing left, was what made it possible – some years earlier this mindset would have been totally alien to me. 

And though I am probably the slowest weight-losing bandit in history, it has been worth every penny.  It is giving me back the peace of mind about my body I thought I had lost forever – though I’m not quite there yet with my self-image. 

When I’m sick, nauseous and wracked with discomfort, I rejoice:  my band is telling me firmly that I will not eat any more – and I’m grateful.  Each time (it happens less and less often these days) John gets very worried when he witnesses the process, and I make my (very) well-worn joke:  I paid a lot of money to feel this uncomfortable…

22.  I cook well with whatever ingredients are available, though with a lapband I’m less willing these days than I used to be.

23.  I’ve travelled to various countries and enjoyed every one – Canada, United States, Guatemala, Chile, Bolivia, Paraguay, Uruguay, Brazil, South Africa, Tunisia, Turkey, 25 Greek Islands, most European countries, Russia when it was the Soviet Union, and the exquisite Maldives.  Except for the latter, travels to these countries were undertaken sadly before I became interested in photography.  Here are some Maldives pics -












From travel I have learned two important lessons – firstly that you come to appreciate your home country infinitely better when you leave it (for however short a time) and then return; secondly that we all should speak as many languages as we can, and certainly at least more than one, for there lies the resolution to most conflicts.   

24.  The United Kingdom’s countryside is among the most stunning in the world, it’s difficult to pick out the best I’ve seen which I will never forget, but I would probably settle for the Gower and the valleys in Brecon, Loch Lomond, the County Antrim coast, and almost anywhere in Dorset and Devon, the Lake District and the Yorkshire Dales.  Then there are the ancient buildings so redolent of its history – from the elegance of Salisbury Cathedral to the cosiness of Anne Hathaway’s thatched cottage in Shottery and back to the sober magnificence of the Houses of Parliament – it all tells you that the beauty you see has evolved over many hundreds of years of people tramping over its ground and occasionally looking up and creating beautiful architecture, or standing back and planting extraordinary landscapes.  I feel privileged to be living near to all these wonders.

Talybont, Wales

St Fagans, near Cardiff

St Fagans Tunnel of Trees, near Cardiff

Markle, south east Scotland

25.  I understand Argentina’s failings and why it is sometimes negatively perceived from abroad (though certainly not from a touristic point of view – it’s one of the best kept secrets), but love its strengths and its beauty.  It has taken me till middle age to respect its history, realise how much I love it and that I’ve always felt proud to be Argentine.  It faces uncertain times ahead, with the death this week of the president's husband, who was himself president of Argentina during this decade, and was perceived to be the power behind the throne.

I am lucky to have seen the best the country has to offer, in many cases when it was still unpolluted and unspoiled – Cumbrecita, Sierra Grande, Sierra Chica...

...Valles Calchaquíes...

Valles Calchaquíes, Salta
... Tafí...
Tafí del Valle, Tucumán

...Bariloche, the Andean foothills, Tronador, Mendoza, San Juan.  Patagonia stands by itself, a land of wind and mystery, of pioneers who struggled to survive, of adventurers and larger than life personalities, a punishing climate capable of such beauty that you can only stand and stare.

26.  To have been given the opportunity to develop some skill with photography and get so much enjoyment out of it.  What makes it so special for me is that with concentration and effort (and an awful lot of pictures…), I can very occasionally produce an image which is timeless:  a view which conveys its atmosphere, or a candid portrait which conveys their feelings at that moment.  The greatest compliment would be if I took a picture of you that prompted you to say ‘you don’t seem to have made me look any slimmer/prettier/younger, but you’ve captured how I was feeling that day, and for that reason I like it’.




27.  The astonishing concept of the internet, communication by e-mail and the wonderful (and sometimes shockingly self-indulgent) means of self-expression that are weblogs. My two blogs allow me to combine writing with photography, and make so many friends.  The support I receive from other bloggers has enabled me to discuss openly the difficulties I face, and I no longer mind if my words are read by people who know me.  I keep the faith with other bloggers in recognition of their faith in me, and I’m more grateful than I could ever express in words.  I’m constantly amazed by how we help each other, and how much we need the support.

28.  I taught myself to write backwards and ambidextrously.  Quite useless, but fun.  Under this same category, learning and keeping up my shorthand is one of the most useful practical things I have learned, and not necessarily for work.

29.  My two cats, which came into my life in 2001 and changed it forever. 

Banjo

Rusty


30.  My education.  Being bilingual without the effort – I grew up that way.  Staying bilingual is another matter, I work hard at that and still rarely feel the same degree of fluency in both languages.  I'm so glad I also learned a few practical skills - to ride horses and bicycles, to drive a car, to swim - and guess what, I can whistle too!  (Sadly not the wonderful piercing whistle achieved by sticking two little fingers in one's mouth - I never quite got the hang of that).

I owe to my parents the excellent education I received in Argentina and my university education in England, and I recognise with loving gratitude the moral compass they provided.

-oOo-

Photo Finish -
from Lonicera's non-digital archive

November - season of Guy Fawkes, bonfires and fireworks





(This is a stuffed guy or doll, in case you were worried!)


























-oOo-

Sunday, 24 October 2010

Bucket List – reversed (4)

Just to recap on why I'm writing this series of posts:

The Bucket List – named after the 2007 film - as defined by Lindsay at Suburban Turmoil, “generally contains 50 or so things to do before you die” – but she has preferred instead to list things she’s done which she’s proud of, or have made her happy, and called it the Bucket List Reversed.  And this is my list. 

(For entries up to 16, see the first post here,
the second post here 
and the third one here.)

17.  I’ve flown in a hot air balloon.  Being up there in the total silence and no wind – you’re moving with it – was a stunning experience, though the bumpy landing in a field was less so.

What it looks like as it's being prepared for inflation

1987 way up high, with my head getting scorched by
the burners, and idiot that I am, fed up that John was
photographing me again.  When we weren't flying over
traffic, I could hear conversations taking place below.
Amazing.

18.  For several years in the 90’s I took pictures of Bristol Rugby Club home games, at the behest of the programme printers, and was therefore allowed to go pretty well where I pleased around the pitch during the game.  John enjoyed the privilege of also sitting on the touchline.  I loved seeing my name in the programme...



I was also a very keen member of my local camera club, and was so proud to be joint holder of one of the cups one year -

Mid 1990s
(I wasn't feeling as smug as I looked, honest...)

19.  My Mollie Project.  In 2005 I bought a book on eBay which turned my leisure time in a completely different direction.  It was the Sand, the Wind and the Sierras – Days in Patagonia by Mollie Robertson.  She had an idyllic childhood on sheep farms in Patagonia just after World War I, and wrote about it in middle age.  For the past five years I have been translating the book into Spanish and investigating the background to the story – this blog has several entries about it.  I hope to publish it in both languages one day, but must first fight my way to the head of the queue with a publisher.




20.  The project has taken me round northern Patagonia in 2008 and 2009 as part of the research, and I have as a result visited a beautiful part of Argentina which I didn’t know, and forged many friendships. Also a wonderful surprise was to meet the grandson of the estancia foreman where Mollie Robertson had lived as a child.

A high point was meeting Marcelo Sánchez, who had encouraged me from the beginning and provided me with many notes about the area where he had lived for a time...











...Luis Cayuqueo who supplied me with a wealth of local historical information and sent me a lot of photographs so I could see what the places looked like...





... poet and magazine editor Raúl Artola who published an article about me in his literary magazine "El Camarote"...







...poet, historian and writer Ramón Minieri, who helped me with the translation, and his family (his daughter Vero visited me in the summer, and there were several posts about her during August)...





...writer, radio presenter and journalist Carlos Espinosa who organised my tour referred to below, and gave me as much publicity as he could...






...the late radio presenter Galo Martínez who interviewed me on his radio show on both of my visits...







...and Don Elías Chucair, a prolific veteran writer who is known as the uncrowned king of Patagonia – but to me its very heart. 






For the first time in my life I have given talks to groups of people about the project, spoken on (local) television and been interviewed several times on provincial radio.  It has generated significant local interest, and people were coming forward to tell me more about what life was like in the old days – and there lies another project, if I have the time one day.

(Click to enlarge)

To have been on the Patagonian steppe in the middle of nowhere at night time, and seen the complete 180 degrees of velvet black night sky floodlit by stars and the full Milky Way, without a hint of pollution or glow from any electric light.  It was magical and moved me to tears.


-oOo-

Photo Finish:

From Lonicera's non-digital archive

Pictures taken in the 1990's
at dress rehearsals of opera performances
- Bristol Opera Company

Don Carlos (Verdi) 1992

Nabucco (Verdi) 1999

The Marriage of Figaro (Mozart) 1994

Madame Butterfly (Puccini) 2000

Don Carlos (Verdi) 1992

The witches in Macbeth (Verdi) 2001

-oOo-


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